Heels vs Height: A Forbidden Love Between A Tall Woman and Her Longing To Wear High-Heeled Shoes

IMG_3009Hey, it’s Lyndsey here! Y’all might know me as the sweet, southern girl that occasionally posts around here or as the blogger of Dressed in Mascara, but one thing you might not know about me is that I’m a pretty tall gal. 6 feet to be exact. My height is one of the biggest features I have (literally) and it’s also one of the hardest to accept. I’m an introvert. I don’t wish to constantly seek stares and attention from strangers or completely tower over everyone. But when you’re 6 feet tall, dress stylishly, and are as fair as a porcelain doll, you’re gonna get looks and very weird criticism/compliments. Another thing you might not know about me? I have a serious addiction to high-heels. I love the way they look, the way they elongate legs and the way they make me feel more like a woman. But being a tall female and loving high-heeled shoes when you’re not on the runway is almost like a sin. This is a topic that most people never have cross their mind throughout their lifetime. But this is something that is actively involved in my daily life.

Growing up throughout school as a tall girl was hard. Middle school and high school was especially. It’s the prime of our boy crazy age, and also the age to wear high-heels to fancy events- prom, formal dances, graduation, conventions, etc. Plus, guys were insanely intimidated by my height. It was never a secret, but when guys said “You’re a sweet girl, but you’re just soooo tall..” (basically the I’m-letting-you-down-in-what-I-think-is-gentle-when-really-I’m-discriminating-a-feature-about-you-that-will-never-change comeback), it was extremely obvious. While all the shorter girls in my class bought heels for every event, I wore flats to every one. I vividly remember my mom taking me to Ross and while she sifted through the sea of flats for me, I would longingly look at high-heels, put them on my feet, embarrassed at how horribly I wobbled and stumbled when standing in them, then sadly placed them back on the shelf and walked away. It always felt as if I were a poor girl window shopping through a high dollar boutique. I thought that maybe the thought was all in my head, until I once anonymously asked in a school project of tall girls should wear heels and while one person voted yes, all the other answers were a flat no. It was very heartbreaking.. and very real.

High school. I thought maybe once I got there that the maturity factor (+ male growth spurts) would kick in and guys would think “Hey! Tall girls are sexy! They’re so good at doing tall stuff. Especially tall girls wearing heels! Now THAT’S super sexy!” Nope. Guys were still short, but not as short. Good thing I homeschooled my junior and senior year because prom would’ve been the same situation, especially since my longterm boyfriend at the moment was already shorter than I was. Go-figure.
Kimono Style Swap Post ft Lyndsey of Dressed in Mascara
On my 19th birthday I purchased my first pair of heels EVER in my whole life. They were these caged wedges from JCPenney.com. Once I got them in the mail, I strapped them on and wore them around my house (and even posted outfit photos wearing them for my blog!). My ankles and feet were SO SORE that night that I couldn’t hardly walk the next day! But I was literally so proud of myself for making that tiny baby step towards wearing high-heels. Heels made me feel feminine. They made me feel like a woman. They made me feel powerful. What woman wouldn’t be addicted to something that made them feel that way? But when I walked into the room to see my then-boyfriend now-husband had come over to surprise me, we both awkwardly looked at each other and I instantly realized how giant I felt. He didn’t even have enough time to speak a word, but my stumbling/clunking/half-falling-half-running out of the room made it loud enough for him to know my despair of realizing my worst fear. A male saw me in high-heels, which made me feel belittled to a manly, forever-doomed-to-flats giant. He chased after me, smiling and saying, yes, you are very tall, but no, you are not manly giant.

Josh has very much seen me wear heels around the house. He knows my love for them. He was/is a bit leery of the thought of me wearing heels out though, not because of how tall I am, but how weak and wobbly I walk in the things- haha. The feelings I have continually make me ask myself why do I feel so ashamed of my height? Being a tall woman does not defeminize me, and neither does choosing whether or not to wear high-heels. It’s okay to be tall and love high-heels. There are so many beautiful actresses, models, and just generally amazing women who are the same height (or taller!) than I am and still rock high-heels like it’s just another day. I do not see them as any less feminine because of their height or accentuating it, so why would I think this about myself?
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Over the years, Josh has helped coaxed me to learn to love my height. He loves every inch of me, all 72 of them to be exact ;P, which has slowly made me begin to start learning to love my height for what it is, too. Learning to love my height is just the very beginning of a very long process for me. I’m not going to say I had an overnight height-loving-epiphany when I found the right guy, but it has changed me SO incredibly much.

There are moments now when I confidently try on a pair and wobbly strut down the aisle, smiling all the way like I’m on a high fashion runway. I still get embarrassed at myself for trying them on with my outfits and almost bumping my head on our 7ft door openings. Even through all of that, nothing has phased out the love I have for them. Maybe it’s just the symptoms of forbidden love, or maybe it’s a sign of something that is meant to be. ;)

I agreed to become part of this blog to push myself outside of my comfort zones when it comes to my size. To learn to be body positive and to be a voice of encouragement to those that need it just like I continually do. Each day is a new step towards appreciating the natural beauty we all were born with, so lets honor that by setting aside just one day to wear the one thing you steer clear of because of society. Got a not-flat tummy but always loved crop tops? Go for it. Short girl that just wants to wear flats? DO it. Freckled face and wanna go makeup free? YAS, GIRL. Shaped By Style is here to encourage one another and all of our beautiful readers to truly love every single thing about ourselves. That style has no size. That beauty has no boundaries. That women are beautiful creatures and were born to be loved. Lets start by loving ourselves first, then work on loving each other. <3

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12 thoughts on “Heels vs Height: A Forbidden Love Between A Tall Woman and Her Longing To Wear High-Heeled Shoes

  1. My girlfriend showed me this site and as a very tall girl and now woman 6’4″ fortunately my shoe size is only 11N and in some cases a 12N so that’s not been an issue. I have never been with a man who I did not tower over with or without heels and I must confess to love wearing heels and I do realize in many cases it makes a lot of men very uncomfortable, however it’s their problem.
    I will not be told what to wear because of a foolish
    insecurity, it’s only height and I was blessed with it
    and don’t mind flaunting it.

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  2. I am a very good looking 6’2″ male with a serious attraction for taller women who tower over me.
    I meet a very pretty woman who was 6’7″ and she told me she likes to wear hi heels and thought I really wasn’t tall enough for her, REALLY?
    My last gf was 6’1″ and told me it made her feel uncomfortable wearing heels. I see so many short guys with taller women and yet they don’t want a taller guy even if he’s shorter than they are?

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  3. Since I was blessed with shortness of stature for a male with a height of 5’3″ however blessed with good looks and as my significant other has told me
    the most gorgeous blue eyes she has ever seen.
    I must admit many times I question why this beautiful 5’11” woman has such an addiction for
    hi heels as she totally towers over me without the
    extra 4″ or 6″ and many times those extra inches
    really makes some very awkward moments.

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  4. My very tall gf showed me this blog and I must admit, I am a 6’1″ male and my beautiful drop dead gorgeous gf is 6’3″ barefeet and has no problems with wearing 4″ heels and there have been times
    it was awkward not that she couldn’t walk in them,
    that was never a problem. Standing next to her at times and hugging and kissing and I’m a tall guy, she’s just taller.

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  5. Such a beautiful post. Sometimes we can forget that our insecurities aren’t the only insecurities out there. I’m the shortest person in my family and I’ve always struggled with always feeling like a little kid. I’ve always used high as a marker for maturity because of that. If you walked passed me in the grocery store I would totally look longingly at your glorious height and think, “now that’s what a grown up woman looks like!”

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  6. Yay for being tall women as well! It’s heartbreaking knowing that this isn’t just a “localized” thing :(. I actually do struggle to find shoes my size! I have my one go-to store to buy them and that’s Payless. I love their variety of sizes, especially since they offer wide too! <3

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  7. Thank you Lyndsey. My sister are I are 6ft on the other side of the pond and British men are just the same about tall girls wearing heals – but we do love wearing them! Do you struggle to find big enough shoes though (if you have big feet like us!) or is that easier in the US?

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  8. I love everything about this post, Lyndsey! This is beautifully written because it’s honest, funny and so accurate. I’m 5’8 so I relate to this too! And these lines are just perfection: “Being a tall woman does not defeminize me, and neither does choosing whether or not to wear high-heels. It’s okay to be tall and love high-heels.” YAS! Preach it, girl!

    <3 Justine

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